Some days my brain gets stuck on a loop and all that I do to break out of the loop or distract me from it fail. And then my mood plummets... and I end up sitting here on the computer staring at the screen with tea and Katatonia playing (and being slightly frightened, as I always do in situations like this, that it matches my mood so perfectly).

I really, really, really, really, really, really, need to get out of the city. Having a whole city of people around me right now is making me feel claustrophobic, uncomfortable, and I don't know... I want fresh air... real fresh air not this car exhaust. I want the grey sky to clear up or rain or snow or something and all the gross browns to transmute to colour... or be covered up in snow again...

I want my brain to stop doing loops so that I can stop my mood from spiralling downward due to its own endless swirls and too often travelled paths...

And don't we all want a lot of things we can't have... at least not immediately....

so I'll hope that the perfection of the mood fit to my music will help transmute my mood.... because my brain isn't going to help itself today...